Currently, I experience a resistance to join the blog community without a neat bow to provide a thoughtful message. Many times a patient has attended a session believing there wasn’t much to say or even offer to me. Frankly, I empathize with this notion. Then a thought occurred to me — I would still prepare a delicious meal to enjoy by myself. Why would I deprive myself the pleasure of joining the community similar to enjoying a meal for myself? Is being present in the company simply for my own enjoyment enough that I don’t need to offer anything to the community? In other words, a patient might feel obligated to offer me something rather than have the treatment feed her own desire or appetite.
Messages echo about being selfish and accountable to others. Does this resonant with you? Last week I sat in my own therapy session struggling without having a nice neat bow tidy- up my take away message, in other words, my food for thought. Instead I felt I had random ingredients like the chiefs in Chopped to make a yummy pleasing meal for the judge’s palettes. My weeks were colored with a broad range of emotions from lamenting to gratitude. I shared my discomfort with my therapist about sensing an unpreparedness and a worry about being a boring patient.
When a patient expresses his concern about being boring during a session, I actually feel engaged and connected and curious. I enjoy the prospect of an invitation of joining you where ever you are in an experience — in the moment, awareness is always welcome.